How to Ride With Your ValentineHow Joël and I train, race, bike vacation, and live the part time vanlife together
Many couples out there ride together, so you may be wondering why I feel Joël and I are any different from the others. Think of many of the cycling couples you know; one half may be a pro racer and the other a casual cyclist, one in it for fun while the other competitive, one a roadie and the other a mountain biker...all of these couples may ride together on occasion, matching recovery days with the other's hard efforts or doing an easy day on the trail while the other struggles through the technical parts. Sure, they share cycling as something that brings them together but yet they also often do their own rides, own races, and do their own thing.
This is where Joël and I are different from many of the others. Joël and I are a husband and wife who are similar in fitness, share the same goals, and follow the same training regimine. We train together, do the same races, and have even raced together as a "duo" at stage races and endurance events such as Trans-Sylvania Mountain Bike Epic (multiple years as a duo), Pisgah Stage Race, and Patapsco 66. 2014 we were the mixed-duo winners at Trans-sylvania. What a "duo" means is that we need to ride together for the entire race, which depending on the race can means many hours a day for many days in a row. We enjoy riding together when we train and we also enjoy challenging each other to see who can get to the top of the climb the fastest or will say "race you to the sign post" and sprint. When it comes to races we will ride together for a bit when we lap each other but we will also challenge each other to see who can put in the most laps or finish the race in the best time.
And what do we do when we aren't on the bike? We try to travel as much as possible in our campervan lovingly called The Nankvan. Road trips to race and cycling vacations are things we do together. So not only do we train together, race together, we also sometimes live in a Chevy Express when doing all this training and racing. Add in our dog Clifford and it makes for one happy family.
A little history here. Joël and I met through cycling. A mutual friend introduced us at a bike race. Was it coincidence or planned that both of us then showed up at the next couple of training rides and races. Both Joël and I were competitive cyclists when we met, so that made it easy for us to understand each other's drives and goals and to incorporate it into our relationship. I am sure that is a big help when it comes to trying to figure out how to ride with your valentine, if each of you are already living that lifestyle you just combine it together.Many people ask us how do we do this? We train daily together, go to the same races together and often ride together during the race and then we are stuck with each other in a van for at least a few hours if not even days before and after the ride. Communication, support, and a shared love of what we do is key.
Isn't communication always the key
Communication about every aspect of cycling is key to be successful at riding together. And don't just talk about it, write it down. At the beginning of the year we sit down and talk about what races we want to do, what our goals are, and formulate a broad plan for the year. Joël then writes up a training and racing schedule and it is posted on the wall. This way there is no confusion about what is going on. We know what the goal is for each workout, what races we are training towards, and what to expect for the week. Of course this is a pliable plan based on how we are feeling and what else is going on in life but it decreases the confusion and anger that can occur when spouses are thinking about or planning a different ride or route.Have a plan
Pre-planning helps us know what to expect from each other and helps things move along smoothly. For those that have seen us at races, especially 24 hour races, you can agree we certainly have our act down pat. From the moment we arrive to the moment we leave we have a plan. The plan is discussed prior to departure for an event or race, that way we know what is happening. When we arrive we both just start doing our part. Joël knows what to get ready and what to set up, as do I. We each have our specialities and our duties; Joël is always in charge of the bikes and I am always in charge of the food and cooking. We communicate along the way (there is that communication thing again) if we need help or assistance. By working as a well-oiled machine we keep the stress level low, get things done in a timely manner, and keep husband and wife disagreements to a minimum.
Sometimes it is OK to go your own way
Do our own thing at times. I know, this entire blog post is about how we ride together. But every so often one of us is really having a bad day. We want the other to have a good ride and maybe we just need some time to battle the inner demons on our own. So what do we do? We tell each other about it. We talk about what is best, staying together or riding on our own. If we decide to part ways we make a plan about what route each is taking and when to expect to see each other again. Sometimes a little alone time is for the better.
Support each other
Support each other. As I noted above, we each have good and bad days. We congratulate each other on the good days and help each other on the bad days. Joël's favorite thing is giving me a high five when I clear a certain area or finally make something I have been struggling with. I usually give Joël a "way to go sweetie" when he has an accomplishment. I think the support-thing was most evident when I first started mountain biking. After many years riding on the road I had strength and endurance, but I could not ride on the trails due to their technical nature. I was SO slow, I would stop all the time, get angry, and cry frequently. Joël would just hang in there and help me however needed. Sometimes it was giving advice and sometimes it was just being quiet. If needed, he would be my spotter through technical trail features. Via his help and support many years later I am now at times leaving him behind on the trail. And yes, when he is having a day like I used to I support him in many of the same ways.Kissing makes everything better
Kiss often, and especially at the end of a race. It definitely took practice to be able to kiss while riding, but now that we have mastered the skill we try to include it with every ride. Especially when ending a race, no better way to cross the finish line after riding together all day than to celebrate a great day on the bike with a kiss. Kisses on the move are the best, but a kiss also makes a great way to congratulate the other on finally clearing a section, making a big climb; or just a great way to share the enjoyment of a ride or a beautiful view.
So after reading this I am sure you are thinking Joël and I must have amazing rides together all the time. Sure, we have many great rides together but I will be honest. We do have our days when we just want to not talk, maybe ride alone, and even have the occasional trail-side dispute. But that is what being a couple is all about, we do have these bad days but we figure out how to get through them. Maybe we go our own way and meet-up later, maybe we stop to talk about things, or maybe we just have some quiet time and focus on ourselves. Most important is we get through them and make sure the rest of the ride and the next ride are enjoyable.
Riding together is something that brought us together and something we share together almost everyday. Both of us are looking forward to many more miles of turning the pedals together, sharing the podium together, and living in the van together.
Photo credit to most of these photos goes to Abe Landis and Firespire Photo. Abe is an AMAZING photographer and his presence is appreciated at races. Thanks Abe for all the photos over the years and always doing such a great job of capturing the best "duo" moments of Joël and I riding together.
- Jess